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| Name: David From: Ft. Lauderdale FL E-mail: davidles@bellsouth.net |
Hi Patience,I was a crewchief on hueys in the USMC,read Chickenhawk in '83 when I entered,it was great! Based on some of the events that Bob put you thru,you probably suffer from some PTSD as well- ha ha. Thank you very much for your help with those books,I got alot of enjoyment and memories from them. p.s., you've misspelled "weird" on the front page of your site - in blue letters.
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| Name: Edward Whitmarsh From: Missouri E-mail: edward.whitmarsh@gmail.com |
Patience, I have lost touch with you but not my respect and thanks to you. I have lost your email Please email me. thanks, ed
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| Name: Bill From: Many places... E-mail: strltxprs@aol.com |
40 years later and an earthquake hit southern Illinois this morning and rattled my bed in Middleton, WI. Sent me diving to the floor reaching for the weapon that isn't there anymore. The demons don't go away, they just wait. The trips through Reflex, Eyes, Triggers, Connection, Death, Silence, Pandemonium. Each come now in many different forms and trigger each other. We remember it was life at its fullest, it was the rush of the jump all the time. It was everything to the nth degree. It was adrenaline constant that we lived for. It was never knowing if you'd see another sunrise or sunset. It was never knowing if this was your last meal. It was never knowing if the next bullet, or mortar, or trip wire was your's. It is the memory of that which waits. It is the memory of your first kill and the others that came after. It was the unspoken scorecard you kept in your head and wondering when they'd score you. Those are the things that many of us still die from. Those are the things that many of us couldn't get over. Those are the things that many of us continued to search out even after we came home. But some of us came to see that life was finding comfort in that then; and now it is understanding that those things are true everywhere. Those are the things that give us life and those are the things that take it away. But we keep the faith it will be all right. If we don't, they win.
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| Name: Bill From: Fort Myers Beach, FL E-mail: lee9844@msn.com |
I served with the 1st Marine Division in Vietnam from 10/67 thru 10/68, and had a combat MOS. During my tour we had 17,807 KIA's, and we killed way more than that of them. Dead people were everywhere. It actually became normal to see dead people laying around. In order to be a part of that, assuming your not a psychopath, you had to be serving some greater good; defending our way of life, fighting for freedom, something Honorable like that. In Vietnam we had all that taken away from us. The "Peace Movement" was so successful at demonizing us, that we were actually blamed for the war, and the 2.5 million SE Asians that were slaughtered when we just left. When we came home,with the exception of our families, almost no one liked us, not even old people. Now, forty years later, when I drive, I think about those battles, and those dead people. While I am in church, and the priest is saying the Homily, in my mind I go over fire fights, or remember dead kids. My heart gets so heavy sometimes that I don't know where to go. You would think that after forty years the memories would fade, but they are as vivid as if they happened yesterday. I hope that the new veterans aren't robbed of their honor like we were, so their memories don't have to rot on the vines of their minds like mine did.
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| Name: Marcia Garrett From: Indiana E-mail: boxersx205@yahoo.com |
I stumbled on your site while doing research on PTSD for a paper for college. I am currently seeking my BA in psychology with concentration on PTSD. Your site is a wonderful area of information and help not only for the PTSD patient, but for families and healthcare providers as well. Keep up the good work.
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| Name: David A From: San Mateo, Ca E-mail: gorightwing@hotmail.com |
After reading both Chickenhawk and its sequel I'm am most surprised at how similar our stories are. Perhaps not in specific contexts or details but in the symptom patterns of how PTSD evolves and how one who struggles with it tries to cope. I've never been near a real shooting war and in no way do I wish to communicate an attitude that diminshes the damage and pain it creates but I have been affected by trauma...severely in childhood and in my adult career. I am an ER nurse, have been for almost 15 years and I have seen carnage so savage; not unlike what Bob witnessed so many years ago. Being on the healing side of that carnage I know I have been deeply affected by it. My symptoms were nightmares of past experiences; indifference to those patients who'd suffered trauma; a deep sense of inadequacy and utter failure which left me in despair. When I review and reflect on my resume and career, much like Bob, I see a man who hopped from job to job spending little more or less than a year at each, hoping to find one that I could settle into but to no avail. And thru a plethora of venues, trying to medicate away the deep sense of pain and anguish. The "just get over it" approach does not work anymore than one can change the color of their hair merely by holding their breath and wishing it change. I have found that 12 step groups are invaluable in helping those like me who struggle with PTSD. Struggles of this nature were not meant to borne alone but shared in the safety and support of others who can relate and understand. Your name is of no coincidence for it indeed demonstrates who you are and have always been which also is the first priority in loving others. Blessings and peace, David
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| Name: Shary From: Alaska E-mail: msktaylor0207@yahoo.com |
I first found a part of the gazette on the internet the other night and spent hours crying. your story is so similar to how my life has been since my husband came home almost 4 years ago. he was in the invasion of iraq (OIF 1). and its just now, as i type this, in treatment for PTSD. he has ben ignored for so long, and took congressionals, and i become a fire under many miltary members behinds. i am seeing a counselor because i have now been diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma of living my own "war" with my husbands anger and violent outbursts. he loaned me your book "recovering from the war" and i am just begining to read it. its unbeleiveable. its almost like reading my lifes story with some different experiences, but at the same time so familiar. thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It has really helped me feel like im not completely alone and that someone out there, even tho it was so many years ago, has gone thru the same things, and made it.
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| Name: Sgt Preston Bond From: Upstate New York E-mail: haydennate@yahoo.com |
Dear Patience I would like to first start off by saying thank. I am reading your book right now. I picked it up in Kuwait coming back from leave. It has been very good amd one I have learned alot about. I have been in Iraq now for 4 mths and will be here for another 7 mths. I come from along history of combat vets. My twin brother has done two tours here. And my dad is a Vietnam Vet. My dad was shot up real bad. When I was home on leave my dad had a spell. He was visiting my brother in Fort Benning and on his way home he stopped at the wall. Not a good thing. My dad has taken painkillers since he was 18 teen from all his wounds. He got into them when he got back from the wall. We almost lost him. He is doing well now. It took him 8 years of counseling to be able to talk about who problems his councler was a nurse in Vietnam. She is in the new book by Tom Brokay Nelli Cloakly. I just want to thank you because as a kid of a vet I went though hell It took my dad years before he could tell us he loved us. But I have read alot of books on the war. But yours is just the greatest. I would like to read your Husbands. I will have to get it. Well thanks again Sgt Bond
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| Name: Hannah From: Australia |
Very happy to find your site. I am in a fairly new and very loving relationship with a Viet Vet with PTSD. We are struggling and it is hard for us both. He has had "support" in an environment where people have been telling him he will never heal. He is angry that he has wasted years in this system. He wants to heal.He is hurting and frustrated that he can't just step into a new life with me. He is on a rollercoaster at the moment of trying to seize a new chance and desparing retreat to the social and physical isolation he has used to self manage his PTSD for many years.I love this man and don't want to fail him or lose him to despair and frustration.
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| Name: Cathy From: Toronto E-mail: cathybenn@gmail.com |
Hi Patience, My husband is suffering PTSD as a result of being physically and emotionally abused by both parents. It was acerbated about a year and half ago when he was accosted in our back yard, and he has been suffering from most of symptoms of PTSD ever since. About eight weeks ago, he sort of "crossed the line," and it's been HELL. We've finally navigated the medical system here and he is set up with a psychiatrist at a hospital here that specializes in PDST in a couple of weeks. Your article on how PDST affects family members and your experiences in learning how to deal with it helped me immensely. I have cut and pasted sections of your article into a Word document and read them when I get particularly discouraged. Thank you! Cathy
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